Not The Onion

may 31, 2024. But here's a quote from "JFK airport workers scramble for last remaining MetroCards to get AirTrain discount", published today: "The turnstiles with OMNY-only readers remain wide open today, and the agency relies on security guards to ensure riders don’t simply walk through without paying their fare."

So secure was the annual contest to fill three director and four officer positions that when one trustee lost his cryptographic key to unlock the results, the error made it impossible.

Mr. Trump's perseverance as a peacemaker is unpredictable.